


8 – Obsessed

by Banashee



Series: Keep Going (KeGo) December 2019 [8]
Category: Marvel, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Character Study, Friendship, Gen, Natasha Romanov Is Not A Robot, Red Room (Marvel), Strike Team Delta
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-08
Updated: 2019-12-08
Packaged: 2021-02-26 02:53:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 661
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21716443
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Banashee/pseuds/Banashee
Summary: Natasha lives her life, and she focuses on obsessions. Being the best. Not being found. They shift as she evolves, and maybe it's a good thing to have other people around her. Because she cares about them, more than she ever thought she could.
Series: Keep Going (KeGo) December 2019 [8]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1558123
Comments: 2
Kudos: 17





	8 – Obsessed

**Author's Note:**

> This is part eight of this small writing challenge that @Banana_Ink and I cooked up.  
> Basically, we came up with 24 prompts, which means 24 stories for 24 days in december. A way to cope with NaNoWriMo trauma, but also something short, sweet and relaxed to keep up a writing habit without stressing too much.
> 
> Check out the prompts, and most of all @Banana_Ink as well! She will be writing for her BNHA AU.
> 
> https://banashee.tumblr.com/post/189288814786/keep-going-december-kego

**8 – Obsessed**

Throughout her life, Natasha is obsessed with many different things.

Early on, in the red room, it's the desire to always be the best. It sounds petty, maybe even arrogant, but in the end, her life depends on it. Failure is not tolerated, and the consequences range from humiliatingly painful to deadly. So no, she won't be satisfied with being second- or even third-best. So she trains, as hard as she's capable, which is plenty. She is a fast learner, after all.

Later, when Natasha just managed to escape the only life she's known so far, her obsessions shift to the desire to not ever be found. She's a master of disguise, slipping in a different role with just a change of clothes and occasionally hair color. She is the Black Widow, and she's got many faces.

Life goes on like that, until one day, she is found.

That day, Natasha finds herself looking down the shaft of an arrow, but instead of dying a quick, uneventful death, her life changes again. It's for the better, she will see very soon.

This is something she's never known before – a purpose in life. Living a life outside of work. Having coworkers and friends the depend on her – and even more shocking, she sometimes depends on them. It's something she has to learn to get used to, ignore the voice inside of her head that screeches 'f _ailure, failure, failure_ ' at her.

Having a team and a family is not failure, it's a relief, she learns. But now that all of that has changed, she realizes how much she is capable of _caring_ about other people, and it scares her a bit. Even more shocking, people care about _her_ , too.

It's not a trick, no foul play. Natasha is slowly starting to believe that at least these two men who got stuck with her as a result of recruiting her, actually care.

They train, eat, work and go out on missions with her, but they also spend time with her, just because. The three of them are watching shitty movies, and _'how do they even find the time for this nonsense?!'_ She asks herself in the privacy of her own head, until she realizes that they _make_ time, because it's a way to relax.

Phil is in charge of movie choices, which is never a good idea because his taste is atrocious, meanwhile Clint blows up the kitchen and produces magical baking in the process.

While they sprawl out on the couch, Natasha realizes that her obsession has shifted.

Now, her main priority is knowing that _others_ are safe, her team probably above all else, but she's working on that.

People can be surprisingly nice, after all.

Life changes, but her people stay. This is how she refers to Strike Team Delta in her mind, _her people_. She doesn't mind, because it's true.

Then, there are gods and aliens and space and the world almost ends, but she's thundering through it, with Clint and a bunch of new people by her side, and goddamn it, she wants them all to be okay, too. Wants the world to be okay, so she does her part and if it kills her.

It doesn't. But Phil is dead. So it might as well.

She doesn't dare tell Clint until it's all done and they have at least a bit of privacy. Which is a good choice, because it's emotional for both of them, and they cling to each other a little bit harder than usual when nighttime hits, and they curl up around each other in a bed bigger and nicer than any of them ever slept in, because Stark really is okay, and generous to a fault.

Natasha want's to make sure that these people around her are alright, no matter what. It takes her a moment to catch on to the fact that they want the same for her in return, too.


End file.
